Category Archives: fourteen forms of melancholy

All the earth is a grave and nothing escapes it. Nothing is so perfect that it does not descend to its tomb. Rivers, rivulets, fountains and waters flow, but never return to their joyful beginnings; anxiously they hasten to the vast realms of the rain god. As they widen their banks, they fashion the sad urn of their burial.

Nezahualcoyōtl (1431-72)

They party alone with the digital DJ. They lounge alone with the digital DJ. They mourn lost connections alone with the digital DJ. They console themselves about being alone, alone with the digital DJ.

– Damon Krukowski

I’m in the Chemical Valley (the Number of Eyes Vary)

I look out and canyons of calamity 
stretch up towards me,
because I am here for but a blink in the grand scheme, 
but my waste products will witness the dance of the stones
and the changing ground that
will eventually no longer bear our feet.
The packaging of my life 
may get a glimpse of eternity.
An outline of this body
and all the souls consumed by me, me, me.

Even still,
it’s always my present predicament.
I’m over being strung out on sentiment.
What of the way the river dances?
I celebrate every hour of this day 
like each chime of the clock
is my own personal Christmas.

“Perhaps he has heard a warning of someone’s death,
a strange noise, a shriek on the roof.
Perhaps a man has passed him in the open road
and disappeared suddenly, leaving no tracks…
Always there is some souvenir of the spirit-world

Bite the head off the first butterfly you see,
and you will get a new dress.

Take seven hairs from a blood snake,
seven scales from a rattlesnake,
seven bits of feathers from an owl –
boil for seven minutes over a hot fire
in the first rainwater caught in April.

Still,
there it is.”

The Enforcement of Mosaic Law

To Be Square with the Sun at Noon, STAND STILL and Consider the Wonderous Work of God

The center of attention in a Calvinist meetinghouse was the pulpit from which the minister preached. New England historian Alice Morse Earle remembered that “the pulpit of one old unpainted church retained until the middle of this [nineteenth] century, as its sole decoration, an enormous, carefully painted, staring eye, a terrible and suggestive illustration to youthful wrong-doers of the great all-seeing eye of God.”

Outside, the walls were rough unpainted clapboards. On them were nailed the bounty-heads of wolves with dark crimson bloodstains below. The doors were covered with tattered scraps of faded paper which told of intended marriages, provincial proclamations, sales of property, and sometimes rude insults in which one disgruntled townsman denounced another.

Inside, most meetinghouses had no ornaments except that terrible staring eye—no paint, no curtains, no plaster, no pictures, no lights—nothing to distract the congregation from the spoken word.

Frozen communion bread, frostbitten fingers, baptisms performed with chunks of ice and entire congregations with chattering teeth that sounded like a field of crickets.

Sometimes they dressed in rags and smeared streaks of dirt upon their faces to deepen their humiliation. Occasionally, they were compelled literally to crawl before the congregation.

The meetinghouses of New England were often set high on a commanding hilltop. Roxbury’s aged minister John Eliot was heard to say as he climbed meetinghouse hill on the arm of a townsman, “This is very like the way to heaven; ‘tis uphill.

This Ritual of Worship Became a Powerful Instrument

At the end of a New England service a psalm was sung, if singing is the word to describe the strange cacophony that rose from a Puritan congregation. Here again, the emphasis was on words rather than music. The psalm would be begun with a line by a member of the congregation. Then each individual “took the run of the tune” without common tempo, pitch or scale. One observer wrote in 1720, “ … everyone sang as best pleased himself.” Another described the effect as a “horrid medley of confused and disorderly noises.” Strangers were astounded by the noise, which carried miles across the quiet countryside. But New Englanders were deeply moved by this “rote singing” as it was called, and strenuously resisted efforts to improve it. The result was a major controversy in the eighteenth century between what was called “rote singing” and “note singing.”

Much later, Harriet Beecher Stowe remembered that “the rude and primitive singing in our old meeting house always excited me powerfully. It brought over me, like a presence, the sense of the infinite and the eternal, the yearning and the fear and the desire of the poor finite being, as if walking on air, with the final words of the psalm floating like an illuminated cloud around me.

Afterwards, how ghostly and supernatural the stillness of the whole house and village outside the meeting-house used to appear to me, how loudly the clock ticked and the flies buzzed down the window-pane, and how I listened in the breathless stillness to the distant wind, the solemn tones of the cattle in the field, and then to the monotone of the lamp burning, and then again to the closing echoes of that cold, distant wind.””

Please (for Willem Van Spronsen) (https://mediaweb.kirotv.com/document_dev/2019/07/15/Manifesto_15897725_ver1.0.pdf)

What follows is:
there’s wrong and there’s right.

One life –
the flow of commerce
our purpose here?
At your expense, 
                    I go on?

Unshakable injustice 
that is me here, clear.
The handmaiden of evil 
should be more humane.

Me in these days of fascist hooligans.
Me in these days of highly profitable semantics.
Me in these days of endless yearning.
Me in the name of the state.

Love without a word.
Emma, if I can’t dance,
I don’t want to be

in your revolution,
head in the clouds dreamer,
believe in love, and redemption.
Please believe! We’re going to win,
joyfully. We should be reading.
No more jingo dreams to be fed – 
here comes the airplane.
And so we falter and think.
Our dreams fight. 

Who benefits? Let me say it again: 
I think you are really that good. 
As long as love is the foundation,
we are on the same side.
You make me richer.
And you, and you.
I glow by your side.

We are living invisible ascendant.
Pay attention!
Watch me survive and thrive
unabashedly, with open and full
cooperation from the world. 

When I was a boy, my head was filled with stories. 
I promised myself that I would not become one.
Until one day I said to myself,
“You don’t have to burn the fucker down,
but are you just going to stand by?”

Here’s to trying to make right.
Real freedom and our responsibility to each other.
This is a call to you and everything that you hold sacred.
I know you. I know that 
in your hearts it’s time for you, 
too, to stand. Pull away the cobwebs
from these bodies pretending to represent us.
I’m not going to fulfill my childhood promise to myself. 

Here I am…

yet afraid to show my faces
for fear of the market’s greed.